How many phrases and statements have we grown up with, and because we heard it over and over and people just accepted them as true, they became part of our belief system too? There are so many! And because most of the time it came from parents, teachers, and others we respected, we never questioned their validity. Devin was talking about time the other day, and how the phrase, "time will heal," is so over-used. He asked me, "Why do people say that like time is a person or some kind of being? Time doesn't heal!" And he's right. He told me about how he had a broken heart, and people would tell him that time would heal his broken heart...and he actually waited! He wanted to know when it was going to heal him. Being older and wiser now, we know that healing may or may not come with time, but for sure it will come faster with correct thoughts, feelings and actions. And if done with purpose and by asking yourself the right questions, lessons are learned so that you will know how to better adapt to a similar situation the next time, or maybe avoid it all together.
There are some people we know who are so stuck in their ways, and it's sad to see them so unhappy, but too stubborn to change. So what happened to the time that was supposed to heal them? Sometimes time works against us in that the longer we think a certain way or perpetuate a bad habit, the harder it is to change. And we keep going in that rut until either we die or we hit rock bottom and decide that we no longer want to feel like crap. Or worse, sometimes people never have that "rock bottom" revelation and just walk around the rest of their lives being unhappy and not knowing why.
The best way to get time on your side is to stop thinking that time will heal you and instead, get to be your own best friend. Find out who you really are and what you are feeling and why, and then make a focused effort to heal yourself. If you can't do it alone, ask for help. Whenever I start to get in my negative and whiny mode, if I can't get myself out of it, I immediately get help. Even if it's not someone I can talk to personally...it can be one of my mentors or music or...anything. Anything to interrupt that negative pattern is a good thing! The absolute worse thing you can do when you start complaining is talk to someone who agrees with you and lets you be a whiner. I get so mad at Devin sometimes because he doesn't just sit there and agree with me when I'm whining, but that's because I know he doesn't want me to sit in my crap and not learn and grow. I do the same for him (and then I run. lol). Remember, someone who enables you if you're stuck in a rut is not the person you want to go to. Sympathy feels good but it really doesn't help long term. Most of all, try not to sympathize with yourself or feel sorry for yourself.
Some of this may sound a little harsh, but just wanted to share what I feel helps me get over things. This may not work for everyone, and if it doesn't work for you, find the best way for your own needs. And find a mentor who can best relate to you so that you can continue your personal development and live the life you dream about <3