The Door to Positive Self-Esteem
I'm so glad that Devin came up with this quote yesterday. It goes into one of my favorite topics and that is the unconscious mind. This is a bit lengthy and more for those who are like me...they read one of those quotes posted and think, "I wonder what they meant by that?" This is just what I personally got out of Devin's quote--it doesn't mean he shares my thoughts on this. If you just like the quote for what it is or have your own experience that differs from mine, that is awesome! The unconscious mind is important to our self-esteem and self-worth, because it is where all of our beliefs come from. When we have hurtful events in our lives or uncomfortable situations, lot of times what we do is we sweep it under the rug or push it to the back of her mind in order to protect ourselves. When a hurtful event occurs, most times we will form a belief around it, and that is what goes into our unconscious mind. So it really doesn't "disappear." The bad thing is because it is in our unconscious, we are not aware of why we may act a certain way or why certain issues will trigger us. The only way to resolve the issue completely is to deal with it on the conscious level. The other thing that makes it difficult is our ego will come in as protector and sometimes overcompensate for the weakness that we have in order to protect ourselves from being hurt again. The only way to get stronger is to acknowledge that something could be better, come up with a way that is in your control so that YOU can make it better, and remember your experiences for the next time. Another thing about pushing things to the back of the mind is that the low self-esteem that often comes from those negative beliefs compounds more low self-esteem. For example imagine a baby learning to walk. That baby falls down over and over. He is unsteady. People around him may laugh at him. Do you think he believes he's a failure? Of course not. Because he does not have anything in his past experience to attach that emotion of failure to. Just because we are older does not mean that we are not still learning new skills. The feeling of failure will only stick to us because there is a past belief of "failure" that is in our unconscious mind that acts like a magnet. You heard of like attracts like right? So where do these negative feelings come from? We only feel like failures because of the expectations that we placed on ourselves and that we accept from others. You don't need to accept someone else's expectation of you. If you don't live up to their expectation that does not make you a failure. The only time you fail is if you quit trying to improve. So the next time that you encounter a so-called failure, see what kind of feelings come up for you and don't push them on the side or in the back of your mind. Address your feelings, ask yourself if it is reasonable and logical, and deal with it in the moment as much as possible. Try and come up with an empowering belief, something positive, or at the very least just say this was a learning lesson and I will do it better next time. I did the best I could with the information I had or the skills that I have at the present time. Just some food for thought on this Monday morning. Have a wonderful week! If you would like to speak with Devin or I on this or any topic, please contact us and we will be happy to speak with you!